female

Ten Comandments of Female Arousal

1. Taking care of her emotions always comes before taking care of the motion.

2. Nothing paves the way to sexual touching faster than non-sexual touching.

3. The more time you spend on arousal, the faster you'll get her where you want to
take her. Also, the longer the action, the stronger the reaction. Women like a slow
and steady build up. The most memorable experiences are those where somebody
took their time. It is no accident that women's genitals are mysteriously hidden,
because they need the time it takes to properly attend to them. For her, the
journey is at least as important as reaching the final destination.

4. What you do for her is at least as important as who you are. Make her feel
special to you. Hear her out, without trying to "fix" her. Surprise her for no reason.
Appreciate all that she is and all that she does.

5. Women love fantasies every bit as much as men do - look at the multi billion
dollar romance and erotica industry they support. They just fantasize in different
ways. As with sex, they need a proper build up. Learn her way, introduce your
request accordingly, and she'll be game. We all want to buy, we just don't want to
be sold.

6. Women love properly performed oral sex at least as much as men do. Learn her
anatomy. Direct stimulation to her clitoral head (which by the way is only the tip of
the iceberg) might be too intense, especially at first. As well, her clitoris and G-spot
(about three inches inside of her vagina on the tummy side) are supplied by a
different nerve (pudendal), than her vagina (pelvic) - the former more sensitive
and thereby responsible for stronger orgasms. Many women will only orgasm when
you stimulate the areas excited by the pudendal nerve. Knowing this, appreciate
the fact that 90% of these areas are hidden and therefore require more than just
clitoral head stimulation.

7. If you're going to stimulate her manually, make sure your hands are washed
(minuscule amounts of sweat and oily secretions can cause irritations), your
fingernails are neatly clipped (should feel smooth to your gums), and palms don't
feel rough.

8. Some women love breast stimulation, others do not. If your lady loves it, treat
her breasts (particularly her nipples) as "on buttons" and indulge them at least as
feverishly through the final stages as you would through the initial stages. As well,
know that with excitement most women will need greater and greater intensity of
stimulation (there and elsewhere). Those who are not breast women will appreciate
it if you do other things with your hands and mouth.

9. Women's skin is thinner and their sense of smell stronger. So be gentle with her
skin, clean and good smelling with your own.

10. No two women are alike. If it isn't working, move onto something else. Trying
harder, faster, longer is as ridiculous as speaking louder to someone who doesn't
understand your language. She knows her body language better than anyone else,
stop and ask her for directions. And if she's too shy, observe her and the push-pull
rule. If she pushes the body part being stimulated right into you, she wants more, if
she pulls away, she doesn't. And if she wants it, stay put. Women love even a
clumsy effort and will shift around to make you work on bull's eye. If she shifts,
follow her lead, don't readjust because of where you think you should focus. If you
had it right the first time she wouldn't have shifted. Women often complain that just
as the feeling gets good, the good get going elsewhere.

Whatever you do, make it special. Treat each experience as exceptional as your
first and it will become one.

Rebecca Rosenblat (aka Dr. Date), sex therapist/advice columnist/published author
is Toronto's hottest offering to the relationship and sexuality scene. Known for her
to-the-point teaching and entertaining delivery, Rebecca gives her audiences what
they crave, through her books, seminars, interviews, and advice columns.