The_Right

When The Right One Comes Along

by Lu Huskey

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you just weren't willing to wait for
it? Patience runs thin when we are in a hurry and want things right now; especially
when it comes to love. It seems we just can't accept ourselves as we should and
just enjoy our own company. We honestly do need to know ourselves before we
try to get to know someone else intimately. By being secure in our own self-
esteem and confidence, we are able to go places and enjoy things, even when we
might be alone, because we truly are our own best friend.

Rose had been married and divorced twice, and with that track record, she was
very reluctant to get into any kind of new relationship. Most men started out
treating her in a very kind, very compassionate way, but after marriage, it
seemed things changed and she just felt as if she was being taken advantage of.

She did keep dating, however, because the one thing in life that she didn't want
was to be alone. Her mother, Alice, had lived a life of loneliness and Rose wasn't
about to follow in her footsteps. At six years old, her father died from an
unforeseeable illness, leaving her mother to raise three children on her own.
Without much money, Rose's mother was forced to go out into the workplace
making a living to support her little family and without much education, she ended
up in minimum wage jobs that barely made ends meet. Rose was left alone with
her other sisters quite often, and as an adult, she longed for male affection and
companionship.

Rose's one goal in life was to find a man. She wanted this more than anything
else, especially since she had never really known the love of a man before. Her
first husband she married at 18, which enabled her to get out of the house and
start her own place in life. He was a 17-year-old guy in the military, so somewhat
like her mother, she ended up alone much of the time, which was certainly not
what she had in mind. Joe would write her letters and call her on the telephone,
which was some comfort, but it wasn't the same as waking up together in each
other's arms. Being such an immature age, he also succumbed to the advances of
other women while he was away, which ended the marriage after just two years.
Rose just couldn't deal with knowing that he was playing around with other women
and she wasn't about to sit home and wait while that was going on.

Out of money and love, Rose moved back home with her mother and her little
sisters, only to be told over and over how foolish she was to move out in the first
place and marry such a loser guy. Alice had never liked Joe, and had never
minded letting her know it.

Once again, Rose met a very good looking fellow who she knew must be the right
one, so she married him. Again, he was unfaithful to her and she divorced him.
She was ready to just give up on ever having anyone who would be true to her.

Rose wondered if she could ever hold onto a man again, but that didn't stop her
from marrying the first man who came along. He was an older man and a business
owner with money, so that was a deciding factor in her decision to rush into
marriage. She needed emotional and financial stability and this was what she was
waiting for. The problem with this one is that she didn't really love him as a wife
should love a husband. He was such a nice man though, and going back to her
need to have a male figure in her life, she married him after just dating him just 5
weeks. What a diamond ring he gave her! It was the most beautiful piece of
jewelry she had ever seen!

About two years later their first baby came along, and such a pretty baby she was.
Little Diana was everything to Rose, so they decided to have another child, and
Jake was born not long afterwards. Here she was, a housewife in a beautiful home
with two beautiful children and a loving husband; but he was a husband she didn't
love and that left her with an emptiness she had never known.

One day, she decided to get involved with a local civic group in her town. She met
a good-looking guy who was close to her age. He was such a friendly man and so
charismatic. Rose had never met anyone like him and she was immediately drawn
to Charles. He wasn't married and they had endless chats at the meetings she
attended, but she felt herself growing closer and closer to him. What would she
do? Here she was falling in love with the man of her dreams. Finally someone she
had waited for all of her life had appeared, but it was too late because she already
was set in a marriage with small children and felt there was no way out.

Rose went to these civic meetings every week, meeting Charles there and always
going for coffee afterwards, but nothing more. After her first two failed marriages
and her ex-husband's infidelities, she could not go down this road herself. She
remembered the hurt she felt and just could not inflict this on her children or her
devoted husband. So, she remained "friends" with Charles for several years
before the time came when he asked her to decide between the life she had and
the life of love he could offer. But, so afraid of losing little Diana and Jake, she
declined him over and over until finally he left town and she never heard from him
again. As the old song tells us, it truly is "sad to belong to someone else when the
right one comes along…"

Our friend Rose was just in too big of a hurry to "get hitched". She felt incomplete
without a man, and this was partly due to the absence of a father in her life. By
not growing up around men, she had a deep need to fill that void, but had she
recognized this as the reason or basis for all these relationships, perhaps Rose
might have made better choices. We do deserve the best and the best certainly is
worth waiting for.

Patience is such a virtue that, as a whole, we all have to work on it in our lives. By
RUSHING into marriage and not waiting for the right husband (or wife), we are
doing ourselves an injustice. By marrying the wrong people just to get out of the
house or keep from being alone, we sacrifice our very souls by living with people
we really don't love (or sometimes even like). Always be fair to yourself, and true
to your heart and feelings and you will never find yourself alone in this world.

Lu Huskey is an aspiring writer, liturgical musician, and owner of her own
consulting company. Her experience in relationships is reflected in a successful 20
year marriage and being a mother of three.