Reading

Reading Between the Lines

by Cheryl Lewis

Reading through the personal ads can be a skill, an art in its own. You may find
that skimming through the personal ads has become your latest habit, searching
for the person that meets your profile needs and desires but without success.
Have you been looking for love but in the wrong profiles? Or are you searching
for more that is not written in the lines of a personal ad?

If you read more into a personal ad than what is actually written in the profile
and in the pages of the personal classifieds, you may find yourself conversing or
dating a person that does not have the same personal dating ideas as you or the
same objective in a relationship which puts you back at the beginning of the
process again.

You already know that the listings in the personal section are from people just
like you, people who want to meet someone special to fit into their life so starting
with the personal ads is a great way to meet someone. However, maybe you are
reading the profile of someone wanting to find just a friend, or maybe the
profiles you are reading is someone that is also hinting towards a search for love
in a relationship. You need to be a distinctive reader.

The odds are in your favor when searching the personal ads for in finding a
companion or lover. You already know that if the profiles you are reading are not
seeking some type of friendship or relationship, they would not have created a
profile for others to review. However, the steps in deciding who you will make
contact with can be one of the most difficult in your search.

Your journey reading the personal classified section will require the need to look
within yourself to discover what type of relationship you are truly in search of.
Are you searching for a friend, for a lover, or are you searching for a true
lifetime commitment?

Whatever category you place yourself in, choose the replies and profiles that
meet your standards in your search for a relationship - helping you narrow your
search and make sorting through the personals much easier. If you would sit in
front of your computer and continue reading all of the personal ads presented,
you may find yourself overwhelmed with information and choices to be made.
Narrowing your criteria and the idea of what type of relationship you are
searching for creates the best results... and keeps it fun.

If you are searching for a friend or companion only through the personal ads,
start with profiles that state this specifically in their profile. You'll find many. In
discussing profiles of those who are not looking for a serious relationship, you
may find the following phrases used: 'want to have a good time',' not looking for
a relationship' and 'not willing to give my heart away', 'just want to spend some
time with you' or 'seeking another with a great listening ear'. There are various
words used expressing friendship, companionship and those just looking to date.
Use these expressions and words to help you sort through the personal ads
narrowing your decision among the many people listed.

Profiles of people searching for friendship use words that stick out like: 'looking
for fun', 'friendship', 'no commitments', 'companion wanted', 'only looking for a
good time', 'need help in building my confidence', 'I want to roller blade in the
park all day', finding words that express fun and friendship stating no
commitments or relationship will help you sort through the profiles you are
reading.

Are you in search of that someone special to be more than just friends? Learn to
read more into the written words. Find descriptions such as 'looking for love',
'searching for that someone special', 'more than friends', 'quiet and cozy', 'easy
going and lovable', 'special times', 'treasured moments', and words similar to
'lovable'.

So what about your profile? Read over the words again. Does the profile really
express your thoughts about a relationship, what type of relationship you are
seeking and whom you are expecting to meet using the personal classifieds?
Deciding what type of person you are searching for, what qualities you desire,
and how far you want the relationship to mature are steps in realizing you are
taking the right direction for meeting that someone special through the
classifieds. Clarify your words, express your real thoughts and ideas about who
you are seeking clearly which will aid those that are reading your profile connect
easily with you.

Matching your personality and the relationship you are seeking with the personal
profile or description of another person that is seeking similar relationships can
be tough, but using your feelings of what you want from a relationship as a basis
when reading and sorting through the personals is a great beginning.

Cheryl Lewis, freelance writer, married and mother of three. Based in the
Mountains of Pennsylvania, U.S.