Flirting

The Art of Flirting

by Joe Vetromile

Flirting is the way most people determine whether or not a member of the
opposite sex is interested in them. Following is a quick outline on how you should
go about the complex, sometimes fun, sometimes not so fun, task of flirting. It
all beings with your approach.

The Approach

One person approaches the other. They move into closer physical proximity. This
much is clear: NO approach equals NO possibility of initiating contact. You must
approach!

Example: A woman sits down next to a man in a coffee shop, or a man stands
near a woman in a dance club. This is the first step. Once you approach, you
begin looking for the signs.

The Signs

The person who has been approached will always signal the other's presence in
some way…a sign. This signal is not like a train whistle, however, more a subtle
body language which you can learn to recognize. For example, he or she simply
may look up, move over to make room, nod slightly, or signal with a glancing
eye contact.

A display of total obliviousness to the one who is approaching generally indicates
lack of interest altogether. Don't be discouraged. But if the one you approached
shows absolutely no interest, then it's time to re-group and try again. But let's
say the approach works. You have your positive acknowledgement, now what?
Time to talk

The Verbal Exchange

The two people may then engage in a mild verbal exchange about impersonal,
unimportant matters such as the weather or the scene around them. The key
word here is MILD.

This is the classic place for the clever "line," but cleverness is not required. At
this point, a verbal exchange is not for the purpose of sharing valuable insights
about life or determining philosophical compatibility. It is just a vehicle to further
the developing contact.

Examples: Verbal overtures might include anything from "please pass the
pickles" to "your looking great tonight", to "have you seen the waitress?".
Without some form of verbal response, it is highly unlikely that the next step will
occur. Let's say all is going as planned. Time for body language.

Body Language

Over a period of time, a couple that has begun to talk may also begin to orient
themselves physically to one another, to turn toward one another until, if all is
goes well, they are fully facing one another. This is your goal.

This step can take minutes or hours . . . or weeks or months . . . to achieve. Yet,
without this physical reorientation toward one another, not very much can ever
happen, so give up on people who turn their back toward you for long periods of
time! But if they don't…

Touching

The woman or the man (most often the woman) touches the other in a light,
fleeting way. Examples: A couple might accidentally brush their hands against
one another while reaching for a drink, or the woman might pat the man on the
arm in the middle of a shared joke. The exchange of very subtle, almost glancing
touches may continue for some while, and if all goes well, can escalate into the
casual affections shown by couples who are dating. If you've reached this point,
then flirting has now become the beginning of a relationship. The Art of Flirting
should always end with the beginning of a relationship. Now get out there and
flirt.

The Art of Flirting is really the Art of making first contact. You only have one shot
at making a great first impression. By following some of the guidelines we've
established in this article, you should now be equipped to locate, approach, and
ascertain whether or not your subtle flirting has opened the doors to a new and
exciting relationship.

My name is Joe Vetromile, and I'm an author/screenwriter living in So.
California. I've written hundreds of articles on the subjects of flirting, dating and
breaking-up. Besides having first hand experience with all three, my research on
the art of dating confirms to me that while the ritual of hooking up with a soul-
mate may be arduous at times, the end result of finding that perfect someone to
share the rest of your life with is well worth the effort.